Optavia: The journey continues

(NOTE:  This was written originally in 2017) Mid Week 3:  I had a fun conversation with Craig yesterday about the theories of training for endurance sports with a ketogenic diet found in the book Primal Endurance.  I looked up some book reviews online, and decided to buy the book.  I have been wondering for a few years if i wasn’t over-training, or doing too much cardio, but I haven’t been able to find enough conversation anywhere about that to help me analyze what I’m doing, and what I might be doing differently to accomplish my goals.  I ended up ordering a copy of the book, so I’m looking forward to finding out more.  The upshot of the conversation was that Craig challenged me to try to workout this week, keeping my heart rate around 120-125 or under.

So today I gave it a try.  I am not sure my fitbit was accurate!  I started a brisk walk (4.0 mph), HR=103.  So I started to jog (@4.5).  Now, it did seem a little tough…but my fitbit HR went to 154 in a couple of minutes, though the treadmill monitor said 116.  I went back to a walk.  When I got to 103 HR again, I jogged lighter….the same thing happened.  So, for 35 minutes I seesawed, but after about 15 minutes I seemed to find a spot where I was jogging lightly and comfortably and both the treadmill and the fitbit seemed to agree that I was between 118-125.

I am not sure if my fitbit was inaccurate, recording the big leaps, or not.  The treadmill seemed closer to what I was feeling…. However, one of my theories is that it took my body about 15 minutes to adapt to the idea that I was going to not run fast, and so it finally “let me” jog at a lower HR than it initially was trying to establish.  Oh, BTW, Saturday I weighed 156.9, so I hit the 10 lb weight loss.  Today I was back up to 157.1, which isn’t so bad (I had had a big movement just before weighing in).

Last, my body–my knees!!!–liked going a slower, easier pace.  I sweated much less profusely.

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WEEK FIVE??

Soooo……Clearly I’ve not blogged for a while.  Yesterday I weighed 154.1, but then I blew the diet yesterday and today, traveling to Midland to do a kayaking trip.  It’s been a weird week–in the past 8 days, we had Brian and his family stay with us 3 days, and I cooked out recipes that I tried to adapt, though off the plan;, I ran a triathlon (where my nutrition plan was totally inadequate!!!–I tried to do it on the 5 & 1),  Then 3 sort of normal days, but then ….kayaking,,,,

The bloom is off the rose a little.  I feel like the fuelings have too much sugar and flour, and I feel hungry.  I want to eat more real food.  ..Okay, I’m really too tired to blog.  When I come back I want to talk about exercise …what’s next.  In the meanwhile, I think I will give the next month my best (this was a tough tough week to be on a diet), and then try to start living life with my new body and new habits.

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I started Optavia on Tuesday, June 5.  Today is Sunday, July 9; technically I am near the  end of my 5th week, and soon will start my 6th week.  I would like to note that the extended July 4th holiday (mentioned above) stretched across 8 days for me, and though I didn’t go out and eat cream puffs, drink a case of beer, eat hotdogs and french fries, and I did try to eat healthy food, I did not follow the plan for most of the past week.

As I mentioned, I have felt this week that my infatuation with the diet has passed.  Let’s reflect on this.  It could be that I “had to” discount the “wonderfulness” of the diet, in order to rationalize my food choices, or, else, to continue allowing myself to feel justified and “good” about my choices.  As I write that I realize that that scenario is highly likely.  It’s also true, though, that I do feel a near-constant feeling of being rather under-sated.  I miss eating more than 110 calories at a shot (I want more bulk! More chewing!  More rich flavor!).  Secondly, as I stated earlier, I am surprised to find that I really, really want to drink wine/beer outside in my backyard.  (However, I want to note, I realize that I don’t like how that wine impacts me the next morning.  I do feel less wonderful.)

Thirdly, I think that I am less tolerant of putting up with these desires for the purpose of following the diet, because my own research and experience indicates that it is possible to create a healthy, fat-burning diet that would accommodate my desires.  In other words, I dispute the “gospel” of the six small fuelings (although I understand the theory of action, and believe it is one valid method of doing things), and I also have some jaundice regarding the use of sugar/carbs in the 5/1 plan.  I mean, we are so deprived anyway, why not go for full-blown ketosis, like the Atkins’ Phase One?

However….the plan, as it is designed IS HIGHLY EFFECTIVE.  IT WORKS LIKE A CHARM.  It’s so predictable!  It is robust and well-designed, and healthy.  It is comprehensive.  Because of the TSFL/Optavia/or whatever-the-hell-name-they-use program, I have looked harder at my whole life, my goals, and have sought to change my habits, my activities, my thoughts.  That’s pretty amazing.  And I have to say, I am having a lot more fun and feeling a lot more engaged in my life now than I was even just two months ago (Thank you, Craig, for challenging me on this, and then sparking me).  …Not to mention the dramatic physical change of a 13 lb weight loss in 5 weeks.  I feel like I am turning into a different person, as I get a different body.  I feel more opened/open to the world and my life, as the fat covering me and my body slowly melts away (like the snows melting off a mountain range).  I feel more sensitive to the world and my life.  I feel more like the “true” me, or the “essential” me is emerging…and when I look at myself in a mirror, there is a deep thrill of recognition.  As I said earlier, it’s a sense of “OH! Hello!  THERE you are!”.

So.  There.  Personal transformation seems to be a natural correlate of weight loss.  I know I experienced it 9 years ago, and I am re-experiencing it now (though now, I think, because of the Program, I have developed more insight and personal resources to support the transformation goals/process/outcomes than I had 9 years ago).  What is it about carrying weight that seems to cause a hiding or masking of one’s inner “light”?  As I said, my response to others who have lost, then regained their weight has felt like I saw their “brightness of being” at first emerge, become brilliant, and then…..fade or become obscured.  What is it about purposeful weight loss that appears to be, or is, transformative?  What is being transformed?  Or, what is happening in/with that person to create this perception for them and for observers?

Does this, or HOW does this, “glow of authenticity” correlate to weight?  Does, or how does, carrying unhealthy weight impact a person’s personality, their affect, and the impact or relationships they have on/with others?  How would (or would it?) weight loss (intentional and/or accidental) impact the relationships and personality of an overweight, happy person with amazing human interrelationship skills?

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1.  I will not become an Optavia health coach, though I will be happy to promote it to anyone who asks.  As much as I enjoy stewarding folks through transformative experiences, my experience trying to interact and be a positive force for folks on the Challenge and Optimal Health websites is….it sort of bores me (sorry…).  Like my years at MCLA, I have observed that I start to get bored being a facilitator of a fairly predictable program/process.  Of course, it is cool to be a helper, but when I am just one of any person who could be in my place–in other words, when the transformative process has little to with me and the unique resources I bring due to my creativity and/or responsiveness–and has everything to do with the nature and impact of the process, I get much less satisfaction from my engagement.  I get jaded and cynical……I do still enjoy working with people, and helping them grow/improve and/or solving problems.  It is my social outlet, satisfies my need to be useful/helpful and productive, but I don’t romanticize it.  It’s good work, it’s satisfying.  And I would rather do it under the cynical, questioning, relatively-non-idealistic culture in higher education, or the blatantly self-expressive/celebratory musical theater culture, than as a hireling  in an idealistic, “true-believer” culture.

MONTH FIVE

Can you believe it?  I did some lame-ass, quasi-Optavia plan version of dieting for the past four months!!  Where am I today, the first week in October?  Well, I’m sort of in “transition”, officially.  I drink alcohol too much (1-2 servings most days), sitting in my gorgeous backyard in the evenings with Mark and the dog.  I have enjoyed working with Craig, my health coach.  We have super fun conversations about fitness shit.  I like doing the quasi-Optavia diet for maintenance.  I am consistently weighing between 147-150, the lowest I’ve been since high school (I never knew my college/early marriage weight).  NONE OF MY WINTER CLOTHES FIT ME!!  I feel wonderful!  I am running faster, and more.  I am building new muscle.  I get a lot of attention for how good I’m looking.  But I feel better than I look.  I feel wonderful.  I am glad I went this last part of the journey with Optavia, if only because it feels like I have “permission” to continue to focus on trying to eat and live in balance with my goals.  I can talk with Craig about my health interests.

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